The Choice Factor

So my dear readers,

I’ve decided to branch out and host a podcast and a new blog catering to my professional field and motivational speaking. I’ve been trying to compile something of this nature for a couple of years now, but finally have the time, experience and network to make it successful. I’m truly excited about this new venture, and I won’t overdo the introduction here, rather… I will chauffeur you over to my inaugural post and podcast.

THE CHOICE FACTOR

With love & support,

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The most Cents…

 

Many people who know me, know that food ends up being the catalyst to emotion and inspirations in my life. To illustrate this for you I wanted to tell you a story. A few days back, while hungry and searching for a late night fix because I had spent all night at work again, I found my way to the largely unhealthy however, unbelievably satisfying, “Wendy’s.”

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I drove my Explorer up the drive-thru lane and stopped in front of the menu, preparing to order. As I perused the menu, looking for something less ” immediate-heart-stopping-arterial-build-up ” to eat when a memory… a simple thought, graced the forefront of my mind. While the woman asking to take my order droned on in her uninterested monotone voice, I floated back, to this very same place, (albeit different drive-thru), years ago… 

A much younger woman, sitting in her little blue 88 honda that was on its last leg. She pulls up to the drive-thru menu, stomach making noises so loud that the person taking her order through the call box can hear. She looks at the menu to make her meticulous choice. Eat a 5 piece nugget, or a value chicken sandwich? Perhaps one small bowl of chili? How much is tax again? She looks in her purse for all of the loose change she can muster up. Ah ha! $2.57 with the dollar that she’s supposed to use for the toll. That should be able to get her at least one item… Maybe if she sweet talks the cashier, they may throw in a fry or something. She makes her order. Better go for the more filling value chicken sandwich, even though she really wants the huge crispy chicken sandwich meal, picture glowing like it’s from the heavens on the back-lit menu. I suppose she will have to wait until next week, when she gets paid again, to order something she really wants. She pulls up to the first window to pay, total is $2.07 with tax.

She counts out the money in change and looks embarrassingly at the cashier who gives her a knowing, sorrowful gaze. 

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She hesitates in handing over the money for her paltry coup, but gives in to the rumbled pains in her torso…

She drives to the next window, picks up her sandwich, and pulls over to eat. She wonders if her life will ever get better than this. She wonders if she will ever be able to eat according to desire, not only out of necessity, without dependence on others. She longs for the day of real independence, of choice, and of personal and financial freedom. It seems so far away…

Back to the present, I quickly tell the cashier my order and pull up to pay. Grand total is $10.42 and I hand over my card without a second glance. I get my food, and pull over. I sit there and smile for a minute, as I pull out that very same Crispy Chicken Sandwich meal, the one I only dreamt of being able to afford once upon a time, and I savored the taste. I savored the taste of this small thing I had taken advantage of over the years. Going from a minimum wage worker, barely making my way through my adult responsibilities, to a career woman. A woman who wears stilettos and classic pencil dresses. A woman with a business card and a function. A woman who can pay all of her bills on time, and who has a savings account. A woman who is frugal but not stuffy. A woman who is able to enjoy going away for a weekend, or buying an expensive dinner now and again. A woman who works hard, and reaps the rewards when she deems necessary. Me… being the woman I wanted to be so many years ago, and now knowing that I ALWAYS had the moxie to be her. I couldn’t see her back then,

 

 

but I see her now…

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With lots of love,

 

Kymlee

She who is Wise…

                                                      I desire the gift of Wisdom…

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You know that old biblical story about Solomon who was given the opportunity to ask God for anything, and asked for wisdom and discernment to be able to govern his people? That story always resonated with me, and I’ve been asking for wisdom for many, many, many years because the story pairs logic and desire to be a great, (note GREAT not just good), person. Despite the things that have happened in my life, I have desired wisdom in all choices and in all paths I’ve lead. Unfortunately, as a person lead by her heart and by her innate desire to escape from looming dissatisfaction, I’ve found it exceedingly difficult to live a life that is full but also one that is wise.

As human beings we all falter, we cannot expect ourselves to be perfect or expect this from others. What we can expect from ourselves and others, is to be completely honest with what that still small voice is saying within us. Consistently we allow other people to impose their will on our own behaviors, on our own desires and goals, aspirations. We allow society, or even smaller family units or close circles to dictate how we should live our lives. About what is acceptable to desire, what is unacceptable to do and to say and to think.

Were we not given our own minds? Were we not born first as a free man? Before the world sank its talons into our minds? For even a split second, weren’t we without identity from a government, without a name, without anything but the organs in our body, the steady beating heart of life, and the breath in that first mouthful of air? Before anyone decided for us, what we were to be, what we were to be defined as? Before we were classified as race, or color, or social security number?

We were free in that moment to be human beings. The only classification that mattered. 

Which brings me to the next point… Why do we allow ourselves to be herded like cattle. Why do we allow anything to dictate who we are but ourselves?! Yes, I’m fully aware that our life circumstances as children can shape our future. If our parents are crackheads, we’re going to have a harder life than a trust fund baby. I get it. What I don’t understand is everyone’s innate desire to control their children and stifle their ability to truly make up their own minds at what they want to believe. I DO understand the motivations of man, as in, I know why people do it… I don’t UNDERSTAND it though. It makes absolutely no sense to my mind that I should have any kind of say in what a person chooses to believe, or think about, or say, or do. My only stipulation honestly, is that whatever said people do, say, etc, does not impede upon the lives or welfare of others.

i.e. ; Rape, Murder, Theft, other violence…

This is where wisdom comes back in. I wish for the infinite wisdom to be able to guide people into being their own person. Into breaking the molds that have been set for them. Inspiring others for personal greatness, in whatever capacity. Also, to always have the wisdom to listen to my own voice, to be completely honest with myself so that I cannot to be mislead by others who would impose their will onto my life.

Freedom IS free…
You just have to be wise enough to hold onto it.

With all my love,

Kymlee

The downfall

Happy 2013 ladies and gents…  Welcome to the year that should have never been.

Coming to you live from a seedy basement somewhere, I bring you a brand new bridge into the mind of Kymlee… I was thinking the other day, (I know, rare occurrence huh?) that the world is a magnificently fucked up place.

In the last year, we as a country have felt tremendous loss, on more than one occasion. Violence and politics, politics and violence. The ever perpetuating circle of distrust and misuse and scapegoat-isms and untruths and cover-ups and people being led to the slaughter. The slaughter of their minds and then their will to fight. I am almost at a loss for words to describe for you, as to what a disappointment it is to be in this oppressive and entitled world right here… To be a subject of the Republic of the United States of America.

Picture this…

A little girl, wearing her little school clothes, with her hand over her heart, repeating the words to the Pledge of Allegiance and looking at a waving flag that is supposed to symbolize freedom, justice, loyalty, honor, and above all else, the love of a unified group of people who will always fight for their freedom to speak, to choose, to love, to be whatever it is that God so intended, without oppression. That little girl, who grew into a woman, truly believed in these things. She put her heart, her soul, her life into these freedoms, cherished them, and allowed no one to ever take them away. Until gradually she started to realize that those freedoms weren’t really there, they were illusions of freedom, and that an evil had been corrupting her direct world, and her indirect one.

That evil, is complacency. We don’t even know it’s happening, until it already has taken hold of the lives you cherish so much. It is a terrible feeling to wake up and finally understand how powerful complacency has become. A terrible feeling to know that you played a part in it, going about your life like nothing will ever touch you. But it has.

Our life here in America is about to change, drastically, so much so that you will notice. There will be no more boiling frog syndrome, the time for gradual has all but come to a close. Now, we will be relinquishing everything to be entrusted to our government, who has been far less than trustworthy for as long as I’ve been alive, and then some. They will control us further, and if you think I’m insane, just take a look at history, and compare it with ours. We are under the thumb of a tyrannical government already. They are upon us, and there is no satisfaction for the thirst of power, or money, or blood.

Our generation and the ones to come, we are suffering, and most of us are blind. Blind trust.
I don’t know why.

Where is the light?

Creativity Reigns

Some of you may be aware that I am a lover of all things in which creative juices are the primary fuel to a project… or five, or seven and a half…
I enjoy and partake in many different avenues of creativity, such as but not limited to… photography, experimenting with beauty ideas, blogging, singing, songwriting, playing instruments, digital art retouching, poetry, avant garde modeling, and the most recent addition being writing… a novel.

One might think that is a bit of sensory overload but for me, it’s the air I breathe. My biggest problem, is finding the focus to finish a project once I’ve started (this actually applies to creative projects only…) It’s like there’s this perpetual “squirrel” that keeps dodging around and like the magpie I am, well… chasing after stimulation is as much of a pastime as catching it.

(Press play… you want to… trust me)

Any who… the purpose of this post was not to explain my artistic neurosis but to show you the end results…Although,

::back of hand to forehead in a dramatic fashion:: an “Ahrteest” is never finished her work, you know? hahaha

So, you all can see some of the fruits of modeling in the sidebar, and some of my writing skills  ridiculousness on this blog, and you’ve all been privy to my musical efforts… but I have yet to show you any of my new photography, retouching or even new poetry. So I figured, why not share all three in one post today. I will also link you to my FB fan page for my media company which I started awhile ago. If you’d like to like it and share, I wouldn’t say no ;)

Kopera Media

Here’s one of my latest works. I have a new affinity for landscape and nature type photography. I took this image at a local spot in New Hampshire, For the image I used a Brady Daguerreotype desaturation with some dodge and burn, as well as a slight green cross process filter to intensify the contrast, and this is what happened!

Desolate Ink

here’s the poetic thoughts to go with the image, inspired by the music I was listening to called “Angel” by Massive Attack (Mezzanine album) which I’ve linked below as well…

Desolate Ink

poetry and image
copyright 2012
Kymlee Kopera
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Desolate Ink
As black as my heart,
As empty as my being…

When I am weak
you give me nothing
When I am strong
you keep me drowned
despaired…

Inky and visceral
the viscosity adheres to my skin.
It’s in my lungs
It’s in my thoughts
It’s taken over,

and I…
will breathe no more
Should it climb out of my mouth
and on my tongue I will taste
the disdain

Infectious…
and why do I love it so?
Why do I rely on it’s death?
Certainly, most certainly
life will never come to me
not while I drink
my desolate ink…

So there’s a little fun for you tonight, and I will be posting some of my more recent stuff periodically. Thanks for stopping in, and who knows, maybe I’ll take up sculptures next!
To be continued…
Love,
Kymlee

Civilian Transitions

It’s been a busy couple of months trying to get situated back in my home state, for my husband and myself. You know everyone says that it’s different transitioning into the civilian life after being around the military community… I always thought, well I haven’t been around it that long… 2 years is nothing in comparison to some  families you know? It is different though. I find myself longing for the friends we made, not so much the state or the climate (weather or otherwise) but the camaraderie which is something that can only belong in a community of people who have that commonality between them. I was never even truly integrated into what being a military dependent means, I was in this sort of limbo between deployments and living off post, so you can only imagine how those people who are in the thick of it every day for YEARS really feel once they decide (or the US military decides) that the civilian world is better suited for them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving the freedom we have, being untied to anything. I’m loving that we’re home with my family, but I miss some things about military life that can’t be replaced, (nor should they be…) A lot of our good friends deployed this week, which is something my husband in particular is having a hard time with. We are both sad, and worried, and are proud of them at the same time, but Jay… He has this desire to be by their side, to want to protect his friends, and who can blame him? They train, and train, and train for deployments, and then those who get left behind regardless of the situation I’m sure feel a loss that many of us civilians can’t possibly try to understand.

Back to positives though, because while we miss our old life and the people who left such an impression on it, we must move forward. We’re still looking to find our niche’ in the private sector world, as well as other areas, and we’ve been for better or worse, couch hopping until we can figure it all out. Transitions are a tough time, but you would think at least I’d be a pro at it these days, seeing as I’ve spent most of my adult life transitioning to one place and the next in short amounts of time. I will say, when you have more than one person, it’s much more difficult in that area, but pays of in the end.

So for all of my readers out there in the big blue world, moving on and transitioning is tough but I’m hoping that your lives are going well. If not? Don’t you worry…there’s always tomorrow!

 

With love,

 

Kymlee

 

Enough- A Kymlee Original

Hello again! Time for another song post !!!:)

So I wrote this one last week, but finally got the opportunity to record it on youtube and soundcloud this weekend. I have posted the acoustic one here on the video, and the one that has harmonies etc is below on the soundcloud widget.

It definitely needs some fine tuning but this is the bones of it, so let me know your thoughts. Message is simple enough, *pun intended*

Much love!

Kymlee

Enough

copyright 2012 Kymlee Kopera

I am a dying tree, broken by wind and falling dreams…
I am not healed by time, only by which my heart decides…

So small. significance. life is a burden that makes no sense…
I know, it is the way, still we must carry all this weight…
(carry this weight)

When will it ever be enough,
when will it ever be enough?
When will we ever be enough?
When will life ever be enough…

Tragic, but beautiful, from the grand entrance till the end of the show…
What do we leave behind? A plot and a grave or a brilliant light??
(a brilliant, brilliant life)

When will it ever be enough,
when will it ever be enough?
When will we ever be enough?
When will life ever be enough…

When will we ever be enough?
When will we ever have enough?
When will we ever be enough?
When will life ever be enough?